Bikini Envy

At 2:06am today, my oldest son turned 18 years old. If I didn’t feel old last month on my 35th birthday, I sure feel old today!

I remember when I found out I was pregnant. I was 16 years old, it was the first week of my senior year of high school, and I had skipped the entire day to go with a girl friend to Planned Parenthood. The home pregnancy tests back then (especially the cheap ones) were harder to read than they are today – there were like five steps to them before you put on  the 10 minute timer and waited for a little faint ring to appear. Obviously I couldn’t count on the results, so I needed a doctor to confirm them for me.

I think it was the first time I’d ever had a physical. I laid nervously on the table as the lady checked to see if she could feel an increase in the size of my uterus. “Yep, you’re about 7-8 weeks” she said as she reached over to grab the pee test results. “Go ahead and get dressed and we’ll go over your options.” Options? What was she talking about? I had options? As you can tell, I was not prepared to be having a baby – and I knew it!

I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want to tell my parents, but I wasn’t going to be able to hide the pregnancy for long. So, against the advise of Planned Parenthood, I chose to tell my parents that evening.

Almost immediately I had decided to give my son up for adoption. I didn’t yet believe that I could take care of him on my own. It wasn’t until five months later, when I realized that I had fallen in love with the baby that was growing inside me, that I decided I would do anything to keep him.

I grew up real quick that year! I don’t think I really believed that my baby would ever be an adult, but he sure has grown up to be a handsome young man. Having a child as a teenager was definitely not easy, but I will never regret my decision to keep him. What an amazing experience, being a mom!