Bikini Envy

Boy do I feel old today! Not because I just turned 35, but because I’ve been so unmotivated to do anything for my birthday. Yes, I was a St. Patty’s Day baby and I’ve always loved my birthday. After all, I was a born party girl – right? I mean, I’m an event planner by profession! How could I not want to do it up big for my 35th birthday? But, this year I just went out to dinner with a few family members and then went home to relax. How boring am I?

I guess you could say I’ve been a little depressed lately. I’ve been tired all the time since December, my grandmother passed away in January, my current work is not as satisfying as it once was, and I still haven’t fully recovered from the car accident I was in 6 months ago. I mean, when you can’t physically do the things you enjoy (and you feel like a whale) I think it’s normal to get down, but I refuse to give up!

Although behind closed doors I’m in a lot of discomfort, I continue to smile every day. I truly believe in the power of positive thinking and know that being positive is the only way to get through this. In time I’ll feel strong and healthy again and, when I do, the weight will come off effortlessly!

What a rocky night I had last night! I went to sleep around midnight and then woke back up again at 2am. I don’t think I was up very long – maybe a half hour, but then I woke up again at 6am. I knew that if I stayed up at that point I would be exhausted all day, so I went back to sleep for a couple more hours. Still, broken sleep is never good sleep!

I weighed 148.8 on the scale at 8am. Around 9am I had my first meal of the day. I had a Boost chocolate shake, a small mandarin orange and my vitamins and supplements. At 12:30pm I had a 4oz. salmon over romaine lettuce with some dressing. Then, at 4pm, I was hungry again, so I had 1/2 a Boost chocolate shake. At 6pm I had one tortilla with melted cheddar cheese and four sugar free chocolate covered grahams.

At 7:40pm my husband and I went on a walk to the store. At 8:30pm we hit Subway and I brought home a spinach and tuna salad. I ate half of it before I was too full to eat any more.

I feel like I ate a lot of food today!

I woke up feeling a little sniffly again. All I could think was…please don’t let me get sick again, please don’t let me get sick again! I hate it when the day starts off like that – with the slightest hint of a headache coming on – but things actually picked up.

At 10am I started the day off with 1 egg and 1 small mandarin orange. By 12pm I was hungry again, so I had a small banana and a Boost chocolate shake. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough to keep me full for the rest of the day.

I ran out the door without packing any snacks, so I went to the gym on an empty stomach at 4:30pm. But, I’m still excited to be able to say that I went back to the gym today! I hit the treadmill for 25 minutes (walking for 2 minutes, then running for 3 minutes) and then did core training and stretching for another half hour.

By the time I was able to eat at 8:30pm I was starving. I had 1 veggie patty, 2 slices of cheddar cheese, lettuce, sweet relish and ketchup on a whole wheat sandwich thin and a fat free yogurt. About an hour later I had 2 saltine crackers.

Now I am sore and tired and ready for bed!!!

Last night I went to sleep after midnight and this morning I woke up to a phone call at 6am. I’m rarely cranky when I first wake up, but that phone call did not start my day off on the right track. At 10am I was so tired, but starting to get hungry, so I reached for the most convenient thing I could find – a 100 calorie Oreo delight bar – sugar! Then, around 12:30pm I stopped at Subway and had a 6″ tuna sub and a chocolate chip cookie – more sugar! At 6pm I ate a handful of Pringles chips and 4 spoon fulls of ice cream – even more sugar!

What a crappy food day! Worst of all, I’m still tired! Too tired to exercise. Time for bed.

Got a hold of the doctor today. Sounds like all my blood work came back normal, so I’m feeling better about everything. As happy as it makes me to know that I don’t have any metabolic issues, I still wonder where my symptoms are coming from. I guess I’ll keep journaling for now in hopes that it will help me determine the cause. As I begin working out on a regular basis again, I’m sure my tiredness will decrease, if nothing else!

Not sure of the times, but here is what I ate today: 1 Boost chocolate shake, 1 small banana, 1 small mandarin orange, 1 100 calorie delight bar, 2 tortillas, refried beans, tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, 1/2c. strawberry cheesecake ice cream.

Really sore today. Hips ache. Have stabbing, pinching pain in neck, right ankle still hurts to walk on it, left quad sore, but better than yesterday.

Ok, 148.4 lbs today…up on the scale… it’s those dang girl scout cookies!!! Here is what the rest of my day looked like:

12pm flax english muffin, 1 egg, 1/2 c. potatoes.  2:30pm 4oz. salmon and a few spoon fulls of mashed potatoes at IKEA. 3:30pm girl scout cookies and 1 small mandarin orange. 7:30pm 2 tortillas, cheese, refried beans, lettuce, tomato, black olives. 11pm handful of doritoes.

My right ankle is injured from yesterday and my left quad muscle is really sore. I can’t even get up off the toilet without grunting – sexy, huh!

I love this time of year, but I always dread the day that I walk up to the grocery store and see Girl Scouts behind a table full of cookies. Well, it happened to me for the first time this year. Although I would like to say that I was able to pass them up, I couldn’t – for goodness sake, I only get them once a year! So today I gave in…

I weighed 147.2 lbs at 10:30am. Not a bad way to start the day. I didn’t eat anything until 12pm when I had a 1/2 size fish baja bowl at Taco del Mar and a Nantucket Nectars half and half. At 2pm I at e 4 girl scout cookies and 2 fig newtons. At 7:30pm I had a veggie patty with 1 slice of cheese, some sweet relish, ketchup and tomato on a whole wheat sandwich thin. I also had a small mandarin orange. At 8:30pm I was still craving sugar, so I had a 100 calorie Oreo Bar and promised myself it was the last treat of the night.

At 9:20 I went on a 20 minute brisk walk and stretched for 15 minutes. That was the best part of my entire day!

I started to think that my sinus infection had finally cleared up and gone away, but this afternoon I’m not so sure. It’s 8pm, my throat feels scratchy, my nose is running and my stomach feels crampy. I’m tempted to get in the shower, in hopes that the steam will clear up my sinuses and stop this gawd awful drainage, but I’m almost too tired at this point.

Overall, I think I did ok today – though I still haven’t done any real exercise! I woke up at 8:30am, after a good nights sleep, and got on the scale. It read 148.6. Not great, but better than yesterday morning. The shower seemed to clear up my sinuses and postponed the headache that I felt coming on. I got out of the shower and immediately took my vitamins and supplements. Then I went down and started making breakfast. Trying to keep my first meal fairly high in protein, I had 1 egg, 1 flax english muffin, and 1 tbsp of butter. I felt satisfied as I headed off for work.

I had intended on grabbing lunch at the restaurant, but the day had started to get away from me, so I didn’t feel I had the time I thought I did. Instead, I went to QFC, picked up a Lean Cuisine cheese pizza, a yogurt, and a diet Snapple; and finally stopped to eat around 2:30pm.

At 5:30pm I gave in to my craving for sweets and ate 4 caramel Hershey’s chocolate kisses. I’m glad I did, because they were the only thing around and I wasn’t able to eat again until 7:30pm when I had a 2 egg omelet with 1/2 a teaspoon of butter, 2 slices of cheddar cheese, and 1 mandarin orange.

As I said, I still haven’t gotten any exercise in, which I feel has been my biggest problem over the last couple days. Even as I write this, I’m beating myself up for not doing it now! But, my eyes are burning, I’m feeling nauseous, and I’m so tired that I know I’m going to crash as soon as my head hits the pillow. Exercising is just not going to happen tonight!

Wow, I can’t believe I’m up on the scale. I’m back to 149lbs! I really need to focus! Let’s see what I’m doing wrong…

Today I woke up at 7am, so I had about 7.5 hours of sleep, which just wasn’t enough. I still felt tired after my shower. At 9am I had my blood work done and then hurried home to eat something. At 9:30am I ate 1 egg, 1 flax english muffin, and 1 tbsp of butter. A half hour later I took my vitamins and supplements.

I went to my business meeting at Noon and ordered a field green salad with salmon. It was amazing! I should have ordered the dressing on the side, but it was still better than anything else I had been eating lately.

I got busy with work and made the mistake of not eating a snack in the afternoon, so by the end of the day I had a terrible headache and ended up rushing home to get something to eat.

At 7pm I had 2 eggs, 1 slice of cheddar cheese, 1 bean and cheese burrito, and 1 fresh mandarin orange. Still feeling hungry, I went back and ate a second mandarin orange around 9pm.

I’ve been having a much harder time than expected getting back into a normal routine. Sure, being sick doesn’t help, but even before that I was feeling tired all the time, even after exercising – which for me is not normal! So, I went to my doctors office this morning. He asked me to keep a journal for a couple weeks to figure out what is triggering some of the symptoms I’ve been experiencing…

fatigue

abnormal breathing

tingling and pain in extremities

pain in neck and back of head

muscle weakness

foot pain

vision changes

poor circulation

rhaspy cough

post nasal drip

congestion

reflux

excess gas

night sweats

dizziness (not vertigo)

seeing stars in peripheral vision

I’ve journaled many times and even done elimination diets. And honestly I don’t mind because each time I do it I learn something new. For instance, I’ve learned that my body doesn’t like dairy products or yeast products – of course, that still hasn’t stopped me from eating them!

Anyway, in addition to journaling, my doctor has asked me to go in tomorrow morning to have some blood work done. I’ve had full panels of fasting blood work done in the past and the tests always come back normal, but I do think it’s a good idea to have another one done with my family history…

diabetes

heart disease

breast cancer

ovarian cancer

diverticulitus

high blood pressure

high colesterol

lymphoma

asthma

hypothyroidism

alzheimers

All that said, I’m not too worried. I’m gonna be on the mend before you know it!